These Kivu Sisters have too much revolution flowing in their blood. Hey ugandan boys, you better start thinking revolution if you want beautiful girls!

I’m not against one-night stands, chanas, but do bear in mind that sometimes it’s better to wait. Not because you’re trying to pretend you’re a virgin or lady. But because there’s so much preparation involved in dressing for that successful first time.

I sometimes, feel that this world has very generous people with loads of advice and money to give you, for doing nothing. Ehh, this fella I’ve never even met, Mr Kafir Ahmed from Bank of Africa, Auditing and Accounting Unit in Ougadougou, Burkinafaso. Sent me an email saying that:

During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died on 31st july 2000 in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this development. Although personally, I keep this information secret within myself to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful during the time of execution. The said amount was U.S $15.5M (Fifteen million Five hundred Thousand United States dollars).

I panicked assuming that everyone today has decided to do something good for humanity.I then thought, what I could do that can help humanity?? And Bingo! it was there in ma face!!

I could help those girls who go from man to man. Those that trip daily from fiance to fiance because they fear to be alone and laid awake at night wondering if they’ll ever get fucked again.

You know what you silly girl, not having a guy gives you so much free time. You can get eight hours of sleep, do well at work and in class and still go to the hairdresser’s and go shopping. Be fuckin and utterly selfish because this is the one time in your life when you can.

You don’t get paid for a year after the shows. They all play to be poor. They say they will pay you a couple of thousand dollars extra next time they book you, and they never book you again. The world is full of new virgin models desperate to be seen on the catwalk looking fabulous. Most times the payment is a bag of goodies and shag!!

You might be starving, drunk and high, with dried-up kidneys and the liver of Boris Yelstin, but just so long as you can make it down the catwalk looking fabulous, who cares if you look thin like a kwashikor patient?

At the moment I’m doing my rounds in South Kensington, drinking coffees and wondering why designers steal other designers’ clothes all the time??
Just like Uganda designers who go to Owino Market or Mwanjare on Katuna road, Kabale and buy vintage clothes, then remove out the old label and show them as theirs to clients at fashion fairs. Guess what? I saw the other day some Top london designers doing the same in Portobello market.


This Crazy Arab girl phones me to go down Belgravia-the nutcase was dancing on a glass table an she fell through it landing on about 50 wine glasses of other guests-mostly from the fashion industry. I had to take her to Casualty[Chelsea & Westminster] and we ended up sitting there till six in the morning..