I sometimes, feel that this world has very generous people with loads of advice and money to give you, for doing nothing. Ehh, this fella I’ve never even met, Mr Kafir Ahmed from Bank of Africa, Auditing and Accounting Unit in Ougadougou, Burkinafaso. Sent me an email saying that:

During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died on 31st july 2000 in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this development. Although personally, I keep this information secret within myself to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful during the time of execution. The said amount was U.S $15.5M (Fifteen million Five hundred Thousand United States dollars).

I panicked assuming that everyone today has decided to do something good for humanity.I then thought, what I could do that can help humanity?? And Bingo! it was there in ma face!!

I could help those girls who go from man to man. Those that trip daily from fiance to fiance because they fear to be alone and laid awake at night wondering if they’ll ever get fucked again.

You know what you silly girl, not having a guy gives you so much free time. You can get eight hours of sleep, do well at work and in class and still go to the hairdresser’s and go shopping. Be fuckin and utterly selfish because this is the one time in your life when you can.

Virunga Mothership is waiting for you, are you ready to board it?

Naomi campbell is also looking towards to Africa for redemption and soul searching.Hey, maybe this is a good fing.. afterall, she could send a message to her “A” list friends that wearing free stuff[ The rich and famous get most of their stuff for free - Madonna gets a free box of tracksuits every month from Adidas] and not helping the world, but instead makes you look like a walking freebie.

Independent designers are doing battle on an uneven playing field where your financial backing is more important than the cut of your clothes.

In terms of global sales, perfume is the most valuable asset a fashion house can buy. When you get it right, it is a licence to print money-get it wrong and you can lose a fortune. It is a high risk industry where seven out of eight perfumes that are launched each year, fail.

Sometimes its very hard to get fashion news but not with me.
Okay, it’s the end of London Fashion Week; how else will I remain funny and fabulous without a couple of grams of Colombia’s finest in my Harrods leather bag?

It won’t be anything to do with the show. I mean, considering my lack of financial backing- I just have not to stare but hear- as this is necessary for a comic journalist to pick new gossip. Ehh, this gossip keeps oozing in my ears “she’s all dark, tits and hair extension and she just isn’t fashion.”