Reply To: The Uganda dictator, Yoweri Museveni

[Free Uganda]

An argument in parliament hehehe,Those who wrote lubwama off should now see how he argues in the August house,God is great

*Munyagwa:* Instead of discussing pertinent issues, we are busy repealing laws to cater for the whims of one man.
*Tumwebaze:* Who is repealing laws? Amendment and repealing are two different things.
*Mwijukye:* What is the difference in the case of age limit?
*Ssekitoleko:* I don’t know who tipped you but whatever you claim is not true. The amendment Bill is looking at the Constitution in its entirety and not just the age limit.
*Otto:* But even dead ants know that the age limit clause is the target of this whole drama.
*Oyet:* Basically, this august House is yet to discuss anything of substance.
*Katuntu:* They say if a rat landed in a pail of honey, it can only drink enough to fill its small stomach.
*Matsiko:* And who is the rat here?
*Katuntu:* The one who wants the honey in the pail of age limit.
*Muloni:* The impetuousness! How dare you demean the fountain of honor? No amount of heavy rain can wash a leopard’s spots so you watch your language.
*Katuntu:* My bad! I didn’t mean any offense; I just keep getting drawn into his language and styles.
*Anite:* But what do you people want? Must you oppose everything just because you are in the Opposition?
*Otto:* It’s our mandate to counsel the Executive.
*Sebalu:* You guys are just noisemakers. Even when the government tries to promote tourism, you shout and question what rolex can do.
*Munyagwa:* The only good that will come out of the rolex campaign is already out. We must move on.
*Kiwanda:* What do you mean?
*Munyagwa:* The picture of Mutagamba holding rolex like sugarcane. She was literally chewing it.
*Otto:* That picture was something else. It will scare tourists. Rolex is soft, you can even imbibe like a baby, but Mutagamba’s bite makes it look like we are promoting some desert cow hooves.
*Mutagamba:* We are tracing the source of that picture. The photographer deliberately did that to portray the campaign in bad light. I promise you we shall arrest the culprit.
*Ssemujju:* Now what is this? Blaming the photographer?
*Anite:* Yes, it is on record that some of these photographers deliberately manipulate their cameras.
*Oulanyah:* Honourable members, Uganda is bigger than us all. Why bicker over how Mutagamba’s nose looks? When cartoons of my bald head and mustache are done, do you see me threaten to cause chaos?
*Bahati:* Instead of discussing that picture, let’s look into the issue of allowances for cars.
*Ssemujju:* Huh! The Speaker was rude in her response on the matter. I thought we serve the people? It is wrong for a leader to threaten to take more from the people if they complain that what you are grabbing is already too much.
*Speaker:* So should we exclude you from the allowance?
*Lubwama:* Milk is for pigs. These people call us pigs, so let us have the milk.
*Mafabi:* Here is another shameless one. Just yesterday he was crying for public support to enable him get medical attention abroad. Now he thinks he has arrived.
*Lubwama:* The greatest temptation for us MPs is to renounce the joy and perks of being a legislator, to repent, to make peace with our conscience. I got this off some book I was reading whose title I can’t remember. The temptations of God were always more dangerous for mankind than those of Satan. As long as chaos dominates the world, God is an anachronism; and every compromise with one’s own conscience is perfidy. When the inner voice speaks to you, hold your hands over your ears.
*Ssemujju:* That must be Arthur Koestler’s Darkness at Noon. You can’t be quoting such a book while doing exactly the opposite of what it preaches against.
*Munyagwa:* And what does he mean by the temptations of God and whatnot? What is anachronism here?
*Lubwama:* Well, we are living in perfidy, or so they say. The regime is rotten. Those who think they can defy the stench by covering their nostrils will eventually suffocate. I will wade the pond with a smile.
*Ssemujju:* The same book should have taught you that there will come a time when history will be taught using mathematical figures, where teachers will use calculations to show how the greed of Ugandan politicians like yourself led the country to where it will be.
*Karooro:* I see guys who attended Literature class and read a few books flaunting it today. Eh, it must be good being in the Opposition. But Koestler committed suicide so some of you clinging to his words to discuss affairs here in Uganda might end up like him; Mzee is going nowhere.
*Lubwama:* The peasants should sit down and relax. We are thinking for them. We need the good cars to think properly. We can’t think well when stressed. We also need that road closed to the public so we can walk easily from our offices to Parliament, especially after lunch.
*Lokwang:* That is my biggest issue at the moment.
*Nambeshe:* Exactly. Now you guys are talking. Close the road.
*Munyagwa:* Reminds me of the story of Nyero, the village boy who visited the city and could not cross the road. We have a village mentality problem on our hands.
*Oulanyah:* I understand the concerns, members. We are looking into it. Uganda is bigger than us all, so let’s do this in the interest of the nation.
*Otafiire:* I can cross that road with eyes closed during rush hour. I don’t understand the fuss.
*Bahati:* Oh yeah, your reputation for sleeping is more legendary than Bolt’s sprints.
*Otafiire:* Young man, what has sleeping got to do with the issue of crossing roads? If we close Parliament Avenue because some MPs were used to traversing panya roads in their villages, shall we also close Jinja Road the next time they go shopping?
*Nsereko:* Is this really Ota?
*Otafiire:* Why? Because I think it is below our belts to denigrate to the level of singing lullabies to some babies from the village who now happen to be MPs?
*Mateke:* Well, let’s be reasonable.
*Otafiire:* Ah, are you back from holding placards in Kisoro?
*Ecweru:* What is happening?
*Kania:* Very strange afternoon this!
*Otafiire:* Nothing strange at all. Just fix for those people this thing like we see in Chinese villages… in the Himalaya and Naples… where a rope is tied at one end to another and people use it to cross over valleys.
*Ssemujju:* They are called abseils