March 4, 2017 at 1:44 pm #494
An argument in parliament hehehe,Those who wrote lubwama off should now see how he argues in the August house,God is great
*Munyagwa:* Instead of discussing pertinent issues, we are busy repealing laws to cater for the whims of one man.
*Tumwebaze:* Who is repealing laws? Amendment and repealing are two different things.
*Mwijukye:* What is the difference in the case of age limit?
*Ssekitoleko:* I don’t know who tipped you but whatever you claim is not true. The amendment Bill is looking at the Constitution in its entirety and not just the age limit.
*Otto:* But even dead ants know that the age limit clause is the target of this whole drama.
*Oyet:* Basically, this august House is yet to discuss anything of substance.
*Katuntu:* They say if a rat landed in a pail of honey, it can only drink enough to fill its small stomach.
*Matsiko:* And who is the rat here?
*Katuntu:* The one who wants the honey in the pail of age limit.
*Muloni:* The impetuousness! How dare you demean the fountain of honor? No amount of heavy rain can wash a leopard’s spots so you watch your language.
*Katuntu:* My bad! I didn’t mean any offense; I just keep getting drawn into his language and styles.
*Anite:* But what do you people want? Must you oppose everything just because you are in the Opposition?
*Otto:* It’s our mandate to counsel the Executive.
*Sebalu:* You guys are just noisemakers. Even when the government tries to promote tourism, you shout and question what rolex can do.
*Munyagwa:* The only good that will come out of the rolex campaign is already out. We must move on.
*Kiwanda:* What do you mean?
*Munyagwa:* The picture of Mutagamba holding rolex like sugarcane. She was literally chewing it.
*Otto:* That picture was something else. It will scare tourists. Rolex is soft, you can even imbibe like a baby, but Mutagamba’s bite makes it look like we are promoting some desert cow hooves.
*Mutagamba:* We are tracing the source of that picture. The photographer deliberately did that to portray the campaign in bad light. I promise you we shall arrest the culprit.
*Ssemujju:* Now what is this? Blaming the photographer?
*Anite:* Yes, it is on record that some of these photographers deliberately manipulate their cameras.
*Oulanyah:* Honourable members, Uganda is bigger than us all. Why bicker over how Mutagamba’s nose looks? When cartoons of my bald head and mustache are done, do you see me threaten to cause chaos?
*Bahati:* Instead of discussing that picture, let’s look into the issue of allowances for cars.
*Ssemujju:* Huh! The Speaker was rude in her response on the matter. I thought we serve the people? It is wrong for a leader to threaten to take more from the people if they complain that what you are grabbing is already too much.
*Speaker:* So should we exclude you from the allowance?
*Lubwama:* Milk is for pigs. These people call us pigs, so let us have the milk.
*Mafabi:* Here is another shameless one. Just yesterday he was crying for public support to enable him get medical attention abroad. Now he thinks he has arrived.
*Lubwama:* The greatest temptation for us MPs is to renounce the joy and perks of being a legislator, to repent, to make peace with our conscience. I got this off some book I was reading whose title I can’t remember. The temptations of God were always more dangerous for mankind than those of Satan. As long as chaos dominates the world, God is an anachronism; and every compromise with one’s own conscience is perfidy. When the inner voice speaks to you, hold your hands over your ears.
*Ssemujju:* That must be Arthur Koestler’s Darkness at Noon. You can’t be quoting such a book while doing exactly the opposite of what it preaches against.
*Munyagwa:* And what does he mean by the temptations of God and whatnot? What is anachronism here?
*Lubwama:* Well, we are living in perfidy, or so they say. The regime is rotten. Those who think they can defy the stench by covering their nostrils will eventually suffocate. I will wade the pond with a smile.
*Ssemujju:* The same book should have taught you that there will come a time when history will be taught using mathematical figures, where teachers will use calculations to show how the greed of Ugandan politicians like yourself led the country to where it will be.
*Karooro:* I see guys who attended Literature class and read a few books flaunting it today. Eh, it must be good being in the Opposition. But Koestler committed suicide so some of you clinging to his words to discuss affairs here in Uganda might end up like him; Mzee is going nowhere.
*Lubwama:* The peasants should sit down and relax. We are thinking for them. We need the good cars to think properly. We can’t think well when stressed. We also need that road closed to the public so we can walk easily from our offices to Parliament, especially after lunch.
*Lokwang:* That is my biggest issue at the moment.
*Nambeshe:* Exactly. Now you guys are talking. Close the road.
*Munyagwa:* Reminds me of the story of Nyero, the village boy who visited the city and could not cross the road. We have a village mentality problem on our hands.
*Oulanyah:* I understand the concerns, members. We are looking into it. Uganda is bigger than us all, so let’s do this in the interest of the nation.
*Otafiire:* I can cross that road with eyes closed during rush hour. I don’t understand the fuss.
*Bahati:* Oh yeah, your reputation for sleeping is more legendary than Bolt’s sprints.
*Otafiire:* Young man, what has sleeping got to do with the issue of crossing roads? If we close Parliament Avenue because some MPs were used to traversing panya roads in their villages, shall we also close Jinja Road the next time they go shopping?
*Nsereko:* Is this really Ota?
*Otafiire:* Why? Because I think it is below our belts to denigrate to the level of singing lullabies to some babies from the village who now happen to be MPs?
*Mateke:* Well, let’s be reasonable.
*Otafiire:* Ah, are you back from holding placards in Kisoro?
*Ecweru:* What is happening?
*Kania:* Very strange afternoon this!
*Otafiire:* Nothing strange at all. Just fix for those people this thing like we see in Chinese villages… in the Himalaya and Naples… where a rope is tied at one end to another and people use it to cross over valleys.
*Ssemujju:* They are called abseilsMarch 4, 2017 at 1:46 pm #495
UGANDA IS DOOMED.
A few days back on of Uganda’s “diplomat” purportedly accidentally shared a dossier about South Sudan with the UN security Council and it caused fracas both with in and outside the country. As we were still handling that, one of the #MembersofParcels as I prefer calling them tabled a proposal asking Parliament to grant him leave so he can work on a Bill to amend article 94 of the constitution in order to allow Judges and Justices to more time in office than the current stipulation.
As the country was still wondering whether there people’s representatives in the house or not, Uganda’s representation at the international and regional level is at a test as one of our representative in the East African legislative Assembly Dorah Byamukama tabled a motion that intended to remove term limits for the Members of Parliament in the regional house. All these are signs of greed and corrupt minds.
Though this house does not have these powers as its vested in the heads of states, the wind may not be in favour of those against with the notion of coalition of the willing in the community. Whose heads of States except Kenya have turned into radicle #DICTATORS. Now my question in why have Ugandans turned into a curse to both its mother land and outside. What has gone wrong with our leadership. Is National Leadership Institute (NALI) in Kyakwanzi still relevant because to my opinion now National Looters Institute. Let’s us not carry our immorality to other countries. This I beg.
For God and my countryMarch 4, 2017 at 1:47 pm #496
LET’S SCALE BACK ON THE VILLAGE MENTALITY:
When we come to the city we must behave like city dwellers. We must learn how to use a flash toilet instead of squatting on the toilets sits like we do with our pit latrines. Things get different everywhere and we must learn to adjust quickly and modestly and treat others with courtsey.
When you choose to go to Serena Hotel for dinner, it’s going to be different from Nalongo’s Kafunda in Kabulasoke or Kiwanataka. Calm down. Don’t SHOUT on top of your voice over the phone. WALALALA!! NDYAHA SERENA BEITU.Come on. Calm down!
There are tourists enjoying the quiet serene and sounds from the fountains away from the noise in their sound polluted cities to accommodate your village drama. Adjust to the environ, bwana. It comes with the territory. Welcome to Kampala!
So let’s say Stanbic Bank, the Mukono DPC, the Minister are right and the poor security gaurd was wrong to do her work.
What should security guards do if they can’t apply their security procedures?
Are we all entitled to assault a police man or security guard at an access control point to a protected public facility if we feel too big to be screened?
Can any member of the public refuse to be checked before entry at a high security facility like an Airport, diplomatic mission, bank, security installation and if security insists I can fight them until subdued or I win?
Is it possible an incident like this at an airport could cause cancellation of flights or grind security to a halt and slip through wrong elements? Are we sending mixed signals about security protocols to people in security?
If a security procedure is defined by a security policy, documented in an approved security plan, there are no exceptions. It is part of building a security culture.
The problem in Uganda is that many of us bring our village mentality to the city and think we are still deep in Mawokota or Kabunyatta.
Security is not for small people inside a banking hall but everyone inside the bank and the bank itself.
Every security program ultimately is about public safety or saving human life and both the big and small matter.
A security guard at the bank to the public might seem to be protecting the business interests of the bank to deter robberies but ultimately it’s about public safety; acting as a deterrence against unauthorized intrusion as part of many layers of the security function.
We all must obey and submit to security procedures at protected facilities because it’s for our own safety.
Kabulasoke veterans wondering why villagers took over KampalaMarch 4, 2017 at 1:48 pm #497
Quote of the year from the people who want change.
“Those who think that we came to parliament to suffer should go and hang, we want 150m to buy 2017 model cars”.
Name: Kato Lubwama
Constituency: Lubaga South..Quote of the year from the people who want change.March 4, 2017 at 1:49 pm #498
With the surrender of Mugisha Muntu to the Kizza Besigye crusade, it is fair to wonder what the Forum for Democratic (FDC) still stands for especially against the backdrop of the “Policy Agenda for Uganda’s Leap Forward,” that Muntu launched in March, 2015. Since Besigye left his freewheeling days as NPC traveling on the public wagon, he has become a permanent fixture in Uganda’s opposition politics, and a committed rebel.
Besigye continues to say that we should build institutions, political parties inclusive in which there is regular change of leadership. But, what does that say of a man who espouses the need to create change in leadership, then doesn’t want to leave the stage or perhaps bidding time for his wife to replace him! Besigye and the rise of anarchy could be the price we are paying for living in a democracy.
FDC has always claimed the moral high ground of Uganda’s recent politics although that should be laughable, now that it is a refuge for sowing hate. With Besigye, FDC is running towards a wall or indeed the wall is getting nearer to it now. If FDC refuses to update its democratic credentials it could reach its end sooner. Innovation, is a cliché across every trade, yet FDC seems to believe that Besigye can continue using his four failed attempts as if Uganda hasn’t changed.
Even after Museveni has rebuilt the state, and started getting positive returns, Besigye gets misty-eyed about achievements pretending to be the one deeply caring about the poor, the vulnerable and underdogs.
If NRM looks like it’s having a tough time, FDC’s troubles is even more tectonic because, it is not one party, rather, it is at least two irreconcilable factions running confused. The NRM is already burying its divisions over elections to ensure stable and effective government, with eyes firmly on the next general election. FDC is in a free fall with arguments over the legality of elections past while Muntu supposedly its real elected leader has been swatted away like a fly.
We now know that Besigye has clipped Muntu’s wings as he seeks to ensure there is no challenge in 2021, with prospects he will be returned to the leadership, with a free hand to de-select those ‘rebels’ who may want to cause him headache. All of this FDC infighting has to be seen against Uganda’s enormous progress, and certainly arguing among themselves and present no coherent alternative to NRM
Nakiganda Stacy Hon Nuwamanya NiyibiziMarch 4, 2017 at 1:50 pm #499
COWARD PEOPLE LIKE YOWERI MUSEVENI BELIEVES IN GUNS: THE HISTORY I STUDIED SHOWS THAT MILTARY STRENGH ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH TO DEFEAT A DETERMINED PEOPLE
The Portuguese government refused to negotiate with African Libaration Forces believing that Miltary victory was only choice. In the end the government it’s self was overthrown and portugual defeated and all portuguese fled their former african colonies in utter humiliation.
ON THE OTHER HAND, VISIONARY DE CLERK PRIME MINISTER OF APARTHEID SOUTH AFRICA READ THE SIGNS CORRECTLY AND CONCLUDES THAT MILTARY VICTORY WAS IMPOSIBLE HE ENTERED INTO GUINUINE NEGOTIATIONS WITH NELSON MANDELA AND WIN-WIN AGREEMENT WAS STRUCK.